There could be a family living in my bedroom and I wouldn't notice them.

There is five loads of laundry piled on one side of my bed (that's been there since last Sunday) that needs to folded and put away. Half my bookshelf is on the floor beside me and there's about 3 months worth of filing scattered about on available surfaces.

Yet, I happily turn my back on it all because I would rather be at my computer writing.

I'm happy.

Or maybe it's the result of weeks of no sleep, getting up at 4:30 AM to work ten hour days, six days a week.

Nah, its the writing.

Work has been crazy busy. We got orders week before last that we had 18 hours mandatory overtime which breaks down to 2 hours a day and 8 hours on Saturday. Plus any extra time we could put in. Last week I did a total of 68 hours. Yeah, I'm tired. Feel good about because my Lord knows we need the money and if you have to help yourself first. This are rolling back around to where there's sunshine peeking out from the clouds but things still keep changing. I guess its life and I need to buckle my seatbelt and hang on. No, it's good. Really. My life needed changing and someone to rip the rose colored glasses off my face and stomp on them.

In the clearing aftermath of the catastrophic disasters of the last year, things are more sure than they ever were before. Solid ground is what I'm standing on and not the lofty clouds of illusions. My friends are my friends, my daughter is the one who is my glue and I'm stronger than I thought I was before. I'm really not the weak person who was ready to give up when things got hard. So, I'm back in the game.

Anyway, what am I doing in the first free two days off in a row that I have in almost a month. I'm fixing up my studio. Well, a section of my bedroom but still my studio. Getting everything in place to start writing again. Gabby has gone from a fading whisper to a demanding shrew who wants to do story boarding, organizing my reference books and changing out my desk chairs so that we can get lost in the stories again. I'm taking out the DVR in my room so that I can't get lost in aimless numbing television which distracts from Gabbys creative presence. (She really does like watching pretty boys)

And speaking of pretty boys...ohmioverthehillfaghagbody, how wonderful of a boy is Adam Lambert? I adore that man. Yes man. Makes me long to be twenty six and in his presence so I can bask in his godfulness. Geesh. I thought my days of wanting to hang out in gay bars was over, but I'd follow him just about everywhere. One day there will be a very glamrock vampire appearing in one of my stories who sneers like Elvis, laughs like a little boy, and f***ks like a god. Spike will be jealous and Buffy will discover Queer as Folks. Oh wait a minute Joss you took her there and Willow but I'm sure that they've never been to Rainbow City, marched in Pride and worn red to Disney. Or is that too cliche? Or too out of your vision of what gay is? No sorry you just kill them off...

On a side note, Tobi showed me some GIFs of Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. One of which was Kradam themed. Yeah, Gabby purred so I might do a one shot. Actually at this point if it meant I could actually write something I'd write just about anything if I could finish it.

Okay, on to another subject that is near and dear to my heart these days even if they pissed me the hell off. I put it behind cuts just in case you haven't caught up in the last month. What is it? Sorry, General Hospital.

( First with the angry )

( The other thing is Ethan and Lulu )

The only other show that I want to comment on is Supernatural. I was disappointed and felt let down by the finale. That's the ending? That's what the whole year built up to. Damn, I'm unhappy. They had better play the hell out of it next year because the boys went to the edge, stopped and grabbed hands like sissies instead of taking it to that final showdown. What a crock.

Anyway that's my life lately. I think the only thing I haven't covered are the things which I'm saving for surprises later in the day, or week, or month...

Oh yeah, and um, I'm sorry I've been so distant. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of you. It's one of the things I'm learning is not to procrastinate about life. Not being here for you is a chain I've forged and it clinks behind me wherever I go so this weekend, my main priority is to start reading your journals, find out what you've been up and to ask you to let me back in. You guys are a family that is so important to me. I wouldn't be me without you.

May I?

( So I got this email a little while ago.. )


Last night my daughter called me old. I don't feel it, but after reading this email, I began to think that maybe I am old.

I remember:

- when there were only three major networks, ABC, CBS, and NBC which was still promoting the big introduction of color with the peacock.
- when man walked on the moon for the first time
- we had one air conditioner in the house and that was in the master bedroom's window
- 78s, 45 singles, eight track tapes and the introduction to cassette tapes
- schools were still segregated and when they started the bussing in our neighborhood by closing the black elementary school
- when you couldn't say bitch on television or on the radio
- the day Bobby Kennedy was killed
- the day Disney World first opened
- the introduction of microwave ovens
- party lines
- driver's licences without photos
- when you could mail a letter for 6 cents
- typewriters were manual
- when you could go to McDonalds and get a hamburger, small fries and a drink and still get a dime back from a dollar

My family drove a pinto hatchback with an 8 track player factory installed. There was a 5 and 10 on the main street in town where our mother would let us pick things out because they really were only 5 or 10 cents. The local drugstore had a lunch counter. None of the families in my neighborhood were without a father and all of them were white.

When I first started working in the eighties, there wasn't a fax machine and no pc computers. All our work was done on the latest and greatest IBM System 36 with the 8 inch diskettes and it took at least ten of them to back up the system. We were still using carbon paper to make duplicates and a correction pencil to correct errors. Bookkeeping was literally still keeping books. When we received our first personal computers in the work place, we were amazed by the fact you could play solitaire online, and its what we did to learn how to use a mouse.

Am I saying I'm old. No. But I'm grateful that I live in a time when all these changes happened, because each new invention makes me grateful for the ease of doing it better. And with each new way of communicating, the world becomes a little smaller. Hopefully, one day our respect for each other will catch up with our technology.

And hey,

I'd like to buy the world a coke...

I'm here. I've been quiet lately because I'm sure that everyone is tired of me saying the same old things. Life doesn't change much for me lately. It's work, home, trying to write, being with the babies and the family and going to bed. Pretty much that's my life. lol, maybe I'm the one bored with it.

Okay, I seriously need to find something to be excited about.

I realized today what a wonderful feeling it was to come home from work and to slip off the heels and earrings and to pull on comfy, soft home clothes.

This moment was punctuated by a sigh of relief.

Yes it was one of the highlights of my day.

Yep, I'm 44 today and it doesn't bother me to say it. People keep joking around me being 29 and staying there, but I wouldn't go back there for anything. Things are too good for me right now to want it any other way despite the bad that is served up with the good.

Like tonight.

The first play of my Broadway series was tonight. It was Joseph and the Amazing Technical Color Dreamcoat. And it was amazing. I never knew anything about the play, but it was better than I expected. I thoroughly enjoyed it. This has to be one of the best presents I've ever received.

Tomorrow night I celebrate with my family. Going to the WingHouse. I just want everybody that I love together, relaxed, having a good time with some fun food.

Well, I'm off to bed.

Have a good night!!

Amanda, Tobi and I went over to my bro's house Friday and Saturday night to play games. Turbo Yahtzee, Five Crowns and Rummy 2000. It was a lot of fun. It took them quite a while to get me to play with them, but now I'm glad I have because its fun. We played with Dawn, Craig and Loretta (who I'm still not sure how she fits into the family) and even Chris was up to playing once with us.

Yesterday, I actually spent some time sitting on the back porch with my computer. The wind was blowing and you could feel autumn in the air. It was really nice and I talked to spikespet7 for awhile about writing and life.

Today I stayed home, did laundry and relaxed.

I've been working on my stories. A story I started for a Spuffy ficathon is becoming longer than I thought it would. So, I've broken it down into chapters and was working on that over the weekend. Then started a chapter of Wheel in the Sky but it doesn't feel right so I need to go back and tweak some things.

Overall a very good weekend. And now just chilling and watching some television.

God, I miss Buffy's short short skirts and lollipop sucking skills...

lol, I think I'm going to miss the WB. After all the protesting, it's an era that is going to be gone.

Good news, new chapter of Sanctuary tomorrow. Yep, yep.

It's been a good day. Went over to my brother's house for a cookout, played with the baby, just hung out, played rummy 2000 with Amanda and Tobi. Just a good afternoon in all. Now, I'm home, doing laudry, piddling about and cleaning bathroom. My Sunday usual.

Does anyone watch Weeds? I love this show.

Tomorrow I go back to work.

I'm feeling better and I'm bored enough to return. I've managed to watch an entire season of Weeds and the Coyote Ugly search. Hmm, I now know more about marijuana and bartending then I did before. But neither struck my muse as interesting. Gabby has flown the coop to the islands unitl I feel better. Good for her. I would have done the same. So very little writing has been done since this disease took over my life.

I'm trying to get laundry done so I have clean clothes and clean bed sheets. I need to dehair my body. I kind of resemble a gorilla at the moment. and this weekend I am so getting a pedicure and manicure before I go to LA. Also, need to call Palmer tomorrow so he can do something about my hair. I just look bad right now. I did remember to tell my daughter to pick up new mascara for me since I need to throw the old pink eye used one away.

I've also managed to read quite a few books in the last week. Am going to post my summer reading list this weekend since I wanted to read more.

Oh and yeah, at 3:00 in the morning, there is not much on and soft porn is really boring. Fake boobs, perfect bodies and lots of booby grabbing. WTF? Seriously, neither is sweating, the women make funny faces and he looks like he's constipated. Anyway, for some reason this has peaked Gabby's interest or rather her competitiive spirit. She says if that crap is geared for women, that we can do a better job. Look out world, I'm being led down a path of sin into erotica writing. Now, that should make good dinner conversation with the family. ;)

It seems I was in error in this post.


It was irishrose1who was inspired by the Nickelback song Animals as a basis of a Spuffy story. spikespet7 agreed and had the song on her computer which inspired me.

My apologies irishrose1.

I overslept.
Missed going to the writing class I was supposed to go to. Maybe it was subconscious, because I'm tired and really needed sleep which I couldn't achieve until I finally popped a pill at 1 in the morning. Before that I watched all this weird stuff on OnDemand. Small town secrets, Intervention, and some show on psychic children. Yeah, weird dreams came out of that combo.

Because I missed the class, I have the day free. Plans are to work on my ficathon entry due Monday and I'm not halfway thorugh it. I really like the requests I was given, and with spikespet7 introducing me to Animals by Nickelback, I'm having fun with it. Also, am going to watch Season 5 of Angel today to get more of a feeling for a fic I want to do a little later in the road, called Conversations in LA. It's for _sharvie_. The pairing, I'm really not sure because I'm going to let the characters lead the way, and could be multiple parings or one big orgy. The original conception was Angel, Spike and Xander and the story will revolve around them, but I realized in order for these three guys to move ahead in their lives, Buffy would have to be involved. I'm not sure how major a player she'll be, but the story will be moved along by dialogue between the three guys and we'll see how it progresses.

Other than that, a chapter of Sanctuary is off for beta (who is extremely busy so it may take a while), the next chapter of Wheel is in my head, just needs time and I need to do a revised outline for Honey before moving forward on that one. And my original is really taking shape. The first few chapters are going to need a lot of rewrite, but I like that I've reached that zone with it and its cranking along quite well.

( Do you want to read an excerpt? )

Other than work crap out the yazoo, and stressful family relationships, that's my life in a nutshell right now.

How are you?