There could be a family living in my bedroom and I wouldn't notice them.

There is five loads of laundry piled on one side of my bed (that's been there since last Sunday) that needs to folded and put away. Half my bookshelf is on the floor beside me and there's about 3 months worth of filing scattered about on available surfaces.

Yet, I happily turn my back on it all because I would rather be at my computer writing.

I'm happy.

Or maybe it's the result of weeks of no sleep, getting up at 4:30 AM to work ten hour days, six days a week.

Nah, its the writing.

Work has been crazy busy. We got orders week before last that we had 18 hours mandatory overtime which breaks down to 2 hours a day and 8 hours on Saturday. Plus any extra time we could put in. Last week I did a total of 68 hours. Yeah, I'm tired. Feel good about because my Lord knows we need the money and if you have to help yourself first. This are rolling back around to where there's sunshine peeking out from the clouds but things still keep changing. I guess its life and I need to buckle my seatbelt and hang on. No, it's good. Really. My life needed changing and someone to rip the rose colored glasses off my face and stomp on them.

In the clearing aftermath of the catastrophic disasters of the last year, things are more sure than they ever were before. Solid ground is what I'm standing on and not the lofty clouds of illusions. My friends are my friends, my daughter is the one who is my glue and I'm stronger than I thought I was before. I'm really not the weak person who was ready to give up when things got hard. So, I'm back in the game.

Anyway, what am I doing in the first free two days off in a row that I have in almost a month. I'm fixing up my studio. Well, a section of my bedroom but still my studio. Getting everything in place to start writing again. Gabby has gone from a fading whisper to a demanding shrew who wants to do story boarding, organizing my reference books and changing out my desk chairs so that we can get lost in the stories again. I'm taking out the DVR in my room so that I can't get lost in aimless numbing television which distracts from Gabbys creative presence. (She really does like watching pretty boys)

And speaking of pretty boys...ohmioverthehillfaghagbody, how wonderful of a boy is Adam Lambert? I adore that man. Yes man. Makes me long to be twenty six and in his presence so I can bask in his godfulness. Geesh. I thought my days of wanting to hang out in gay bars was over, but I'd follow him just about everywhere. One day there will be a very glamrock vampire appearing in one of my stories who sneers like Elvis, laughs like a little boy, and f***ks like a god. Spike will be jealous and Buffy will discover Queer as Folks. Oh wait a minute Joss you took her there and Willow but I'm sure that they've never been to Rainbow City, marched in Pride and worn red to Disney. Or is that too cliche? Or too out of your vision of what gay is? No sorry you just kill them off...

On a side note, Tobi showed me some GIFs of Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. One of which was Kradam themed. Yeah, Gabby purred so I might do a one shot. Actually at this point if it meant I could actually write something I'd write just about anything if I could finish it.

Okay, on to another subject that is near and dear to my heart these days even if they pissed me the hell off. I put it behind cuts just in case you haven't caught up in the last month. What is it? Sorry, General Hospital.

( First with the angry )

( The other thing is Ethan and Lulu )

The only other show that I want to comment on is Supernatural. I was disappointed and felt let down by the finale. That's the ending? That's what the whole year built up to. Damn, I'm unhappy. They had better play the hell out of it next year because the boys went to the edge, stopped and grabbed hands like sissies instead of taking it to that final showdown. What a crock.

Anyway that's my life lately. I think the only thing I haven't covered are the things which I'm saving for surprises later in the day, or week, or month...

Oh yeah, and um, I'm sorry I've been so distant. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of you. It's one of the things I'm learning is not to procrastinate about life. Not being here for you is a chain I've forged and it clinks behind me wherever I go so this weekend, my main priority is to start reading your journals, find out what you've been up and to ask you to let me back in. You guys are a family that is so important to me. I wouldn't be me without you.

May I?

A couple of years our family visited my brother in North Carolina. We spent a day up in the mountain house. While there I found a book on Appalachian families which included lists of first names. I didn't have time to go through them all so I took pictures of the pages. Somewhere along the line I'd forgotten them, but they were rediscovered again today. Now I'm pulling up the 'pics', reading and cross referencing the ones I like with my baby name book.

Um I'm a bit of a writing nerd with my baby name book. I've gone through and highlighted the names that I would like to one day use for a character that I know I have coming up or just names I like or ones that I don't have a character for but would be a perfect name for a certain type of person. Yeah, I'm that bad but what else do you do when you come across names like Ocie Rosella, Monnie Lou, Lou Della. These are all great for southern women.

There are just names that I love like Drake, Winter (for a boy), Faerie Ellen or Ella. I hear the name, picture them in my mind and then their stories just start coming to me. So, yeah I'm a writing nerd like this and my baby name book is highlighted, marked up and well worn.

I've heard a few people say that they are tired of reading gratuitous smut in fics. There are various reasons for this: tired of reading smut, tired of reading the same cliché descriptions of Buffy and Spikes genitalia or their prowess while doing the deed, and sometimes the smut just gets in the way of the plot of the story.

If I could, I would like to offer my humble and personal opinion on this subject. Not because I feel I'm an expert (even if I did win best cherry popping for Whiskey and Wine's Spike finally getting Buffy in the sack), but because, frankly, I'm tired of writing said gratuitous smut and trying to figure out where to fit in a sex scene just because I feel like there should be nakedness in the story to keep readers interested. [Disclaimer: this does not mean I am going to stop writing sex. Sometimes its just damn good to write some hot and heavy, sweating, flesh upon flesh action, and sometimes sex does have a very good and important plot point to state.]

( Read more... )

Thank you to jennice for all her help with the fic references.

I also apoloize if you're a writer and I didn't mention your name. It's not that I don't think you're wonderful. There just wasn't enough room to list everyone. *hug*

Realizing You - A new chapter is written and has been sent off for beta. The next chapter is written. I wrote it a few weeks ago, but it needed some before chapters which were done. A little bit of tweaking on it and it should be ready to go.

Tonight I am working on Wheel in the Sky. My mind has hit a blank wall on this one. I don't know why. I know where I want it to go, but I can't seem to get the characters there. So, I'm just going to write and hopefully Gabby will speak up to help me out.

Other than that, I'm cleaning house and watching movies. Since the kids were all out of town this weekend, I managed to stay home all weekend. I watched a lot of movies, The Descent, The Eye (the Asian version. It was excellent, spooky, but with a beautiful story. Check it out if you get the chance.), Children of Men (which made me think about getting a bit more involved in teh world) and the last one was Bring It on: In it to Win It. Yeah, laugh if you want, but for some reason I adore the Bring It On movies. Guess I'm channeling the cheerleader, popular girl I always wanted to be and never was. :)

Anyway, that's it for me.

The lack of inspiration to write any more of my fanfiction has led to me working on the background work of my original. By Nightfall takes place in the same universe of mrs_kati_muir and some of the characters are going to be crossovers in both stories. So, in order to keep track of the characters, not only their placement in the stories, but also their details I created a workbook in Excel with character having their own spreadsheet. To do this I needed to go back through all of Kati's entries and reread what I've written in the orignal so far to catalog all the details. It's been a three day task, but now its finished. Everything is full steam ahead on By Nightfall. I can check that off my list.

I'm going to have some quiet time this weekend. My plan is to write plot lines for both Wheel and Honey. Maybe that's what I need to get moving forward again. I'm also going to watch some of Angel season 5 and start in on Buffy starting in Season 4 or 7 whichever I decide is going to help me a bit.

Realizing You's plot line is good to go. I just need some down time to write. Things should go good this weekend to get another chapter out.

Last night I worked on a chapter for The Blood Chronicles Book One - Chapter One. Should have that finished this weekend also and sent off for beta.

Things have been slow, but it's coming back together again.

*crosses fingers*

It seems that Gabrielle (my muse) has decided to stay. Not only is it about damn time, but I'm really relieved. Last night I dreamed about the Baby Series, a scene between Max and Journey that will change the way I feared the fic would go toward. BTW, even in my dream Journey is adorable and Max is much hotter. Anyway now that I'm dreaming about it, it's time to get to work writing the dang thing.

Oh, also have a new chapter of Wheel in the Sky coming up. Halfway through and would have finished it last night but felt crappy and went to bed at 8:30.

Side Note: Still haven't heard about the job. Still waiting for the news.

After approximately 10 months, I have broken through the immense writer's block and have completed a new chapter for Hi Honey I'm Home. It has currently been sent off to the lovely dusty273 for beta, and will be posted soon.

That is all.

I promise I am.

However, right now I'm concentrating on entry for spuffy_haven which is due this Saturday. And as usual, I don't think I'll get it finished, but I will have a good chunk of it finished and this one will be finished. I love this story I'm writing. I'm throwing all the love I have for Spike and Buffy as a couple into this one.

But after that I'm returning to writing my other fics. Really the only resolution I made this year was to write, write and write some more. And to finish these damn fics I started and do it with regular updates. Also, to get started on the Baby Series and a new one I want to write. As well as doing my original. Not planning on having much of a life this year and not seeing much but the inside of my bedroom. It could be worse. :) That's where I'm at and I promise new stuff to read very soon!!!!

I've fallen in love with writing again. Somewhere along the way it became a chore that was no longer fun because I was trying to do it so I could make money. And I lost the joy and the passion. But in the last week something has happened. Maybe it was the drug induced fog of being sick with a cold or just the down time and reaching into my soul again, but I find myself thinking about writing, about my characters, all the time now. Not only originals, but my fanfic, too. Especially the fanfic.

Hi Honey I'm Home is playing through my mind and I think Gabby just about has the next chapter together for me to write. Spike, Buffy and Angel have an enemy to bring down and a life to build as a threesome. Angel needs to learn to be a little less uptight, Spike needs to learn to be a little more uptight, and Buffy needs to let go so that she can love both of her vampires. Andrew and Dawn need to cause more havoc, get rescued again before the end. And I think Harmony needs to get fired or something.

Also, the Baby Series. I miss the hell out of that 'verse and the characters there. I feel like picking Journey up and cuddling her and telling her to have faith that its all going to be okay. Things needs to be tied up from the last installment and Max needs a storyline of his own without being a supporting character. And Buffy and Spike need to learn communication for a change. Maybe even a finale for Donna.

Um, and I don't know if I even want to mention it, but even Buffy's True Love is meandering around in the back of my mind. I had an idea for that storyline, but didn't really understand what I was trying to say. Since then I've learned more and maybe could do it right this time.

Yeah, I know I've talked about it before and the last two years on my updating front has been really bleak, but I think its going to change. I want it to change. jamalov29 just made a beautiful post about Spuffy which only inspires me to write more.

Anyone else still in love with the character's from Buffy?

So, my New Year's Resolution is to wear out my keyboard in 2008.

Me, I've never been one to sit down and write down this plot then write the story. More of a daydreamer who works through it on the movies in my head. That leads to problems and other times it works out really well. I do need to find a balance between the two practices though. Probably would get more done.

Anyway, the reason I mentioned this was that this morning while getting ready for work, the ending to Realizing You came to me. Through Buffy's perspective of all things, but it ended up working for all the characters. Plus I liked it! This ending also gave me more insight into the journey the characters need to take to get to that point. Hopefully today I'll get a chance to start working on those things and figure out a way for them to go through those things and still interact. We'll see.

Speaking of daydreaming plots, I've come up with a new one in the past few days. As I've been drifting off to sleep it's been developing in my imagination and dreams. Buffy somehow gets conked on the head, and ends up in William's time in London. Nothing new right? In my world, she is an indentured servant (I don't even know if they had them in Victorian England), but William buys her time so she can serve in his house. Buffy isn't practical at housework which is why her previous employer is selling her debt. William takes her anyway. His head housekeeper cleans Buffy up, finds out she can read and sends her up to William's mother who is dying of TB. Buffy is given the task of being her companion, to read to her, to help her when she is ill, etc. After a few days in the house, Buffy (who does remember this isn't her time) realizes that William just isn't William. He's a vampire. Things changed when William brought Drusilla to the house. His mother was very ill, and instead of turning her, William stays to care for her. Drusilla leaves him. Buffy approaches William about him being the vampire, tells him who and what she is. He believes her, but won't help her return to her time since his mother has grown attached to her. He also won't give up feeding from humans. Buffy is torn about staking him becuase she knows what it would do to his mother if something happened to him. So they're stuck in this warp as they watch her die. And won't tell anymore in case one day I decide to write this.

Which leaves me with another plot with no time to develop it. *sigh*

Time just seems to slip away.


It's just gone and then I realize how long its been since I've been here. I'm still here in thought and I know that's not enough, but you are on my mind. The hidden part of me is still hanging out here while the real life me is still hanging out with family and cleaning my house. After the great room cleansing, the rest of the house wasn't far behind. Amanda ran the carpet machine while I helped with moving the furniture, dusting high places, cleaning the removed furniture, and paying for it. There is still even more to do though until I'm satisfied.

As of Friday, I'm back to being a red head, and this coming Saturday, I'll be sporting my first tattoo. A bday present from my girls, who talked me in to it by the way. Life goes on.

Somewhere in all of this thing called life, I have a chapter of Realizing You that I'm going to do everything I can to get it posted tonight. A chapter of Wheel in the Sky that I got back from one beta with rewrites I need to make.

Also, I've written an original short story that I need to do rewrites on. I've also started a new novel since the last one is dead in the water. We'll see how this new one goes.

That's where I'm at life, writing and fandom wise. Work is really slow, going to try to use that time to catch up with everybody!!

ETA I want to say hello to new friends givsgr8face and heartredeemed. Welcome!!

Somehow in the past two days I've managed to write a chapter of Wheel in the Sky. It is only one scene and its all a conversation between Buffy and Spike. They both got a lot said, and hopefully something resolved. Then I remembered last night that I had 1500 words of a Realizing You chapter on one of my computers from before my vacation. I'm going to have to find it tonight so I can finish it.

Among my other plans. I hate the way my bedroom is situated. My bed is shoved up against one wall, in a corner, by the windows. There's just too much crap in too little space since we emptied out the den to make it a kid's room. Tonight, I'm going to try to fix it. Take out a few things, pack up some stuff and deep clean the hell out of it. Tomorrow I'm taking my comforter to the dry cleaners so that I can put my bed set on my bed. It's red and gold, and I miss it!! I even went out and bought some candles today that have a matching scent to put in there. I need my haven of comfort with NO stress. Damn it, I need one place which is all mine. Plus I want to get to work on the rest of the house. Actually decorate it instead of it looking like I'm still living out of a thrift store.

By the way, life with Effexor is a lot better than life with Zoloft. I laugh more and I feel more confident about things in general. Sometimes it really is good to take action to change things in your life. Especially when it works out for the better.

First, I hope everyone headed to DragonCon has a wonderful time!!! Travel safe, stay safe and have fun!!

Two, last night was my first meeting with Weight Watchers and of course today was my first day. So far, so good. I'm stoked about it. Have followed the plan all day and still have food left over to eat. This has to work, because after this is stomach stapling and I'm not sure I want to do that. No, I know I don't want to do that. It offers me choices, everything is allowable as long as I follow the points which is a big factor with me. If you tell me no then yes I'm going to do it.

The new meds are still messing with me. The Effexor is making me cry all the time. Plus I've woken up once with the mind going a mile a minute which I haven't done in years. People at work tell me I'm moodier than usual. I'm open about this stuff. Have to be because otherwise they'll hate me. :) The doc is going to have to give me a referrel to a shrink so I can maybe get the meds I need.

The only good thing about the Effexor is the writing. New chapters of Realizing You and Wheel in the Sky are out for beta. A new short story is ready for my final read through, and the prologue for Eptitaph has been proofed and ready for me to move on. Plus, I've got the next few chapters of Honey planned out and will start working on that tonight.

And woohoo, two weeks and two days and I'm off on vacation to Tennessee. spikespet7 and I have rented a cabin for a week of relaxtion, writing and pretty scenery. Yay!! I can't wait.

Other than that, life is pretty much the same. Just waiting for the long weekend and some much needed sleep.

I just got approval from both my bosses to take Monday off from work. No reason, other than I really want/need a day for me. My doctor appointment is Monday morning, but after that I plan on heading home and staying put. Hopefully, what I want to do, is work on my website, mailing list and all the other little fandom things that have fallen behind. (tehnoodle will you help me change the look or any other volunteers :)) For like over a year! Then if there is any time left over, I want to crawl into my bed and catch up on some movies and sleep.

Tonight I'm going to work on Hi Honey.

Since I've cut back on my Zoloft, I was really depressed yesterday, but then I pepped up last night. Today, I feel fine. I've started to think about my stories instead of everything else I need to do. So things are good. Now, back to work.

I've been in a real git'r done mood lately. Spent yesterday working on organizing my house, got a lot done, but there is still a lot more to do. Now, I'm trying to do the same thing at work today.

Everything has been overwhelming in the amount that I've gotten behind in, including my writing, but I keep telling myself that all I can do is all I can do as long as I'm doing everything I can. If that made any sense at all. So, prioritizing is first, then attack one thing at a time is the goal.

As far as the writing is going, I finished a chapter of Wheel in the Sky and should be up by the end of the week. I watched four episodes of Angel yesterday while cleaning so that I could get back into Honey. So, tonight I'm going to map out Honey and start a new chapter of Realizing You.

Other than that my life is pretty much the same, work, family, sleep. Nothing new or exciting. Guess that's why I haven't been around. :D

I'm finally writing again.

Am working on Wheel in the Sky and have about 1100 words written on the new chapter. I had to go back and reread the story to get caught up again and make sure I have everyone in the right spot. But it's coming along.

It's also easier having my main computer in my room. I've uploaded all my Itunes to it and have redone my playlists for the different stories. So, I'm hopeful that I won't go into another slump with this writing thing.

Am going to get caught up on Hi Honey I'm Home this weekend.

Realizing You never really left. It's one that haunts me so I'm not going to have any problems picking that one up again.

Maybe having my computer in my room again will mean I'll get back to regular updates. I hope so.

Pretty much I haven't been online except at work in two weeks. Life just hasn't been giving lately. I'm okay. Just busy. Trying to get things done. Tonight I'm going to go through LJ as much as possible. I'm sorry if I've missed something important in your life.

I've missed you.

I've missed writing.

Working my way back.

I'm here. My nephew, wife and their baby came in last Thursday to visit so, of course, business has ensued. They're leaving today. Which means hopefully that I'll be back to writing soon. I miss it.

The Drabbles from the sound question have not been abandoned. I wrote one but it was more of a ficlet so I sent it to be betaed. Needed revising. Did that and sent it back off. Yep, more revisions so they are still coming.

Honey, I am working on a new chapter of that. About halfway through so should be this weekend at the latest.

Still working on the short, Saving Us, but haven't done a lot.

And, *clears throat*, Buffy's True Love, well due to recent events, things I've learned and new perspectives, Gabby has announced she wants to pick the story up again. We'll see.

Plus, am still plotting out the continuation of the Baby Series.

That's where I am fic wise.

Me, I'm fine. Tired and looking forward to a day where I can get some rest. Other than that, I'm good.